a velvet hand in an iron glove (missfrost) wrote,
a velvet hand in an iron glove
missfrost

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we thought of wanitou

When I was lumbered with the name Rhoda, it was obviously very unusual, and still is. That was the problem - it made me stick out at school for being the only one with an odd name. Absolutely every other girl was called Joanne. Well okay, there were quite a few Elaines and Karens as well, but there wasn't much variation, and Rhoda was just 'weird.'
These days the balance has tipped, and the odd kid in school is probably going to be the one whose parents haven't gone completely out of their way to come up with something 'original.' And so with a horrified fascination I present you with just some of the examples of today's children, whose proud parents have put them up for the South London Press Child of the Year Award.
(In no particular order, and surnames have only been included, in brackets, where they add something to the general sense of horror.)

Te-rene
Yoriance
Montana-Star
Harmony (Rhooms) Massage parlour?
Kevelle
Kenzi-Blue
Kevaughn
Aronas
Jordaine
India-Lee
Paris (Smith) Yeah, we wanted something unusual with such an ordinary surname...
T'nee
Kyllah Named after Ghostface?
Dontay
Jake-Kaci Is that meant to be transgender?
Poppie-Mac Ditto
Madyson
Kaysie
Maksyhiliah Good luck to all your future teachers taking the register.
Cheriane
Aarian He's not.
Blake (Sexton) Are you SURE?
Tenzin
Asharnae-Gloria
Uriah Not read any Dickens then?
Blu
La'Shea
Teddy
Sahai-Joanne Some sort of compromise going on there?
D'Andra-May
Shy-Lah
Indiyana
Sharamarah
Shamaree
Carloz
Iyshitaa Oh, come on, what chance has she got with a name containing shit?
Rio
Mia-Capri
Issa (Virtue) What is?
Leteia (Legister)
Nasharn and Gyron [Twins]
Kearah and Kameira
Roman and Raine
Angel and Destiny
Also a vast assortment of Jayden/Jaydon/Jaidens, and a couple of Mahlias, presumably after the Obama one. Seriously, this is just a dip into this eight-page bonanza of wrong. These could be our doctors, lawyers and politicians of the future. How could any of them be taken seriously as a bereavement counsellor or something?
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