a velvet hand in an iron glove (missfrost) wrote,
a velvet hand in an iron glove

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it costs more to divorce than to marry...

Are you happy? Think about it. What if someone asked you that question right now and you absolutely had to answer. I watched a documentary on the very subject about 25 years ago and the main conclusion was that we put off being happy for no reason - 'I'll be happy when I earn X amount/have a lovely partner/lose this much weight...' and the consensus was, why wait? Just be happy NOW?!
I've learned a few things from people I've known. Mainly from Monica, a former workmate. Monica moaned about everything: the job, the people in the job, the weather, the price of cigarettes, the clients, the pay, the desks, her daughter's expensive wedding, babysitting the grandkids...If five of you were talking and one left, Monica would slate the one who had walked away, immediately. I found myself thinking that I do NOT want to be Monica. I do NOT want to be the person that drags everything down, and I think and hope I have succeeded in that.
And helping that is Julius, an absolutely ace Nigerian I worked with who was Monica's antithesis. He was enthusiastically happy about Britain and any problem that arose he would say 'aaah, never mind!' with a smile. Every problem could be overcome with Julius' ' God save thi qwin!' happiness, which he would chant quite a lot. I thought one day, would I rather be Monica who drags everyone down to her depressive level, or Julius, who brings you UP with his happiness? Who would I rather be around, for the rest of my life? The kids call it a no-brainer.I chose to be a cheery person. If you ask me at work how I am I will ALWAYS so OK! thanks to Monica.
So I always try to be a cheery person, thanks to you, you miserable bitch.
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